New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize