I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
