Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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