holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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