i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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