you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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