And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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