i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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