i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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