Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
