Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
