Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
