HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
