i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I am available for nakedness
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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