I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
