if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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