No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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