Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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