My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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