Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
