There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
we're making bets on your personal life
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
