She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Enjoy the penises
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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