TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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