I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
splinters make it hard to masturbate
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
