I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize