There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
