Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
