sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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