I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
