I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
there was a trapeze. enough said
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize