I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
