i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
