can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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