I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
