im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
