Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
