i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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