Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
