how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
