glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
