So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
