She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
