Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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