hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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