he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
