i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize