You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
