4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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