Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.

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(512): View more from Texas

the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.

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(903): View more from Texas

My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.

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(512): View more from Texas

This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.

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(914): View more from New York

I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".

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(954): View more from Florida

When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.

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(949): View more from California

when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.

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