They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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