Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
