Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
foreskin is a definite game changer
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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