you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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