Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
