she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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