i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
