Porn is love you can see.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
