There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
