I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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