The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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