i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
